Reflections

It's spring break this week, so things around here are rather quiet. We've also had absolutely gorgeous weather for the last few days, and it's been such a treat to go out without a coat! or gloves! or a hat! Although a woman on the bus had all a coat, gloves, hat, and scarf when it was 50 degrees outside. But I digress...

So I've been taking advantage of spring break (no classes! no meetings!) to clean up a bit around the house. We moved here in stages, given some restrictions put on me by my last place of work, and things have been piled up and generally disorganized for way too long.

I've been working on the extra bedroom, which, if we should ever have children (and that is not looking very likely) would be a kid's room. It's now a catch-all for all the random stuff without a home. Yesterday I spent an hour organizing toiletries. We don't have to buy band-aids for about 5 years. Good grief.

On Monday, I found my old journals. I wrote in a journal most nights from about 7th grade through right about when I met my husband. I now type faster than I write - and, to be honest, my writing is pretty messy - so I have a private blog that functions as a journal for me. Once I found the journals, though, I just had to sit down and read through some of them. I know which ones are really old and which ones are more recent. So I went back to 7th grade.

I have no idea how my parents didn't give up and leave me on the side of the road. Seriously. I was such. a. twit. I spent waaaay too much time arguing with them, wondering what other people thought of me, worrying about the "cool kids" in school, and having crushes on boys. Sheesh. I'm sure everyone goes through this - but it really hit home to me, reading my 12-year-old self's musings.

I guess it just goes to show that, eventually, everything works itself out. The boy I had the crush on? Happily married to his high school girlfriend. The "cool kids"? Well, I was never one of them but I think I'm doing just fine. And most of them are doing just fine, too. Worrying what other people thought of me? I am still working on that one, but I think I'm finally comfortable in my own skin.

And it's only taken me 21 years.