Usually, when he is gone, I find myself kind of losing it after a few days. When he is gone, many of the little things that usually roll off my back really get to me. And then I find myself doing weird things like screaming in the car (actually, a good place to scream...), or taking it out on the dog (not physically, good grief, what do you think I am?), or slamming doors. None of which are good for my mental health or the dog's.
So with this extended absence, I have been trying to keep it under control. And it seems to be working. Sometimes I feel even a little bit zen. :)
But there are some things that drive me crazy, and I just have to get them off my chest. Which is why I am here. Because where better to list them, than on an anonymous blog? Yay, anonymity.
So here, in no particular order, are the things that are just driving me mildly crazy right now...
- The blogs I read. Most of them are by women who have children. Which is fine. But most of them also focus exclusively on the children. It doesn't help that many of them are by women who have dealt - successfully, obviously - with infertility. So I spend some of my time - in more recent months, probably 30 minutes a day - reading blogs by women who have chosen a different path than I did. And who are now raising what seems to be a ridiculous number of children. I think I need to update my Google reader. The problem is that I can't find a lot of blogs like Holly's Nothing but Bonfires. Huh. Maybe I should check out her blogroll. I'd also love to find more women who have gone down the child free path after dealing with infertility - which is where we are, and what we are doing - but the blogs I have been able to find are either a) really religious (just not for me); or b) not being updated. *sigh*
- Commercials. Two in particular:
- The Staples one with the "Wow, that's a low price!" guy. It makes me want to stab my ears. With a sharp knife. Seriously - this one even irritates me when it's on mute at the gym and I'm seeing the closed captioning.
- The Chevy commercials with Howie Long. Maybe it's the tone of his voice? The "you idiot, buying a Honda or Toyota, when you could get a better deal on a Chevy!" The worst one? The one with the irritating (although cute) little girl. Who's a big girl, and she's going to tell us that until our @#(%#@(* ears bleed. Gah.
- Religious extremists. Of all stripes. And I will leave it at that.
- People who paint others with a broad brush, and who usually make sweeping generalizations about a) women; b) health care providers; c) Democrats; d) families without children. Obviously, I fall into all of the above categories. And sometimes it just burns my cookies when people overgeneralize and they're doing it about me. Or a group that I belong to.
- Our refrigerator. I should love it - it's stainless steel, relatively new, and has a water and ice dispenser (so fancy! I've never had one before!). But (okay, nitpickiness and first-world problems coming up) I can't fit much in it. It's soooo narrow. And, even worse, we can't get the drawers out to clean, because the door bumps up against the doorjamb to the slider in the kitchen. Argh.
And now, moving on to some actual work...
(waving) Hi Annabelle! I followed you over here from your comment on Julie's blog. I'm also living childfree after loss & infertility. There ARE a FEW of us around...!
ReplyDeleteAre you on the Stirrup Queen's blogroll?
http://www.stirrup-queens.com/
Another great blog from a fellow CFer:
http://blog.silentsorority.com/
Off to read some more of your story...