Changes

We've had a very nice - and productive - long weekend. Full of chores and things around the house and getting some tasks done that we were putting off. Washing windows, potting plants, and hanging out with the neighbors. All good things that we've thoroughly enjoyed. The best part is, we haven't gone that far from home all weekend - the farthest was my trip to SuperTarget yesterday. Boy, do I love my ST. Really. I stock up there for weeks at a time - and fill in with trips to the farmer's market or the local stores for produce.

Today it's drizzly and cool - quite a change from the last few summer-like days. My lovely husband mowed this morning, while I cleaned up some books in the middle bedroom. Because our plans for this afternoon included moving his desk and office stuff into the middle bedroom. That would be the one that I thought was going to be a nursery. It's well-placed (right next to our room) and small. Close to the guest bath (which was to eventually become the kid's/kids' bath). It was perfect. And now it's N's office.

I'm okay with this, but I'm also a bit sad. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm grieving the "loss" of that room, but it is difficult to realize that there isn't going to be a baby (or babies) living in this house for a very long time. That there won't be nights when I stumble down the hall, to get to a crying child. That the bathroom will stay nice and neat and tidy for guests - and we won't have to fish bath toys and crayons out of the tub when people come to stay. I worried about whether the room was too close to the guest room - you know, when people come to visit, they might not want to hear a baby crying.

Instead, it now houses my husband's truly beautiful desk (and I mean that sincerely), our new bookshelf, and the stuff that has lived in the corner of the family room for almost a year now. Since we moved in.

But it's like a friend said when we told her that we were planning to do this - you can't let the fact that you can't get pregnant stop you from living your life. I see that more in the big things - I'm going to meetings, we're traveling, we're trying to enjoy our childless lives. But it's in the small things, too. Like moving a desk on a rainy summer holiday.