Monday, April 19, 2010

On a completely different topic

Oh, my goodness. Can we talk about my skin for a minute? I'm completely obsessing over it - without seeing any results, unfortunately - and it always helps to write things out here.

I think I actually mentioned it in a post on birth control options - but my skin looks worse than it ever has. I never had acne this bad as a teenager or young adult. Never. It has gotten progressively worse over the last year - despite trying prescription treatments, and coordinated OTC "treatment systems", and doing nothing. I'm at the end of my rope - it is not cool for someone in her mid 30s to have such horrible skin! And I don't even know what to do next. *sigh*

I wrote out everything I have tried over the past year this morning, and it's a little sobering. I've spent waaaay too much money trying to get it to clear up. I've tried heavy-duty treatments and I've tried just washing and moisturizing. I've tried different brands. I've tried different products for different skin types. I'm at the end of my rope here.

My husband suggested going back to the dermatologist...but since the stuff they prescribed last year a) stopped working after 4 months and then b) led to my facial skin literally peeling off, I'm not so keen on that suggestion.

I'm done whining - for now - but it is so depressing to look in the mirror every day and see...this. This horrible skin. These red and angry marks. This woman whose self-esteem is taking a huge blow every time she has to go out in public. Or see her husband. Or go to work. All of which I do on a regular basis. It seems so... trivial, in the grand scheme of things. Acne never killed anyone. My appearance is not me - I know what I am capable of. But it certainly can make life miserable, and it makes me feel horrible, and it never seems to get any better. *sigh*

I took pictures today with my Blackberry. I am currently in "do nothing" mode, figuring that everything I have tried has my skin up in arms and reacting horribly to any intervention. I hope to keep this up for at least another 2-3 weeks, just to see what happens. I'm going to make an appt with the dermatologist for May (I need a mole check, anyway) and if it's not better by then, well, we'll see what they say.

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