Tuesday, September 29, 2009


Well, re-entry was as difficult as I thought it might be. We had a lovely time at the wedding - helped by the fact that we spent very little time with my in-laws, and the time we did spend with them was in a larger group.

My husband had a realization recently - maybe it was last night? Anyway, I was asking when he wanted to go visit his parents, and he said that he doesn't think they look forward to/anticipate our visits. I like to think that we're not bad houseguests - we TRY to clean up after ourselves, and sometimes even throw ourselves bodily in front of the sink to clean up our own dishes. We don't hog the bathroom (they only have one), as far as I can tell. We eat what they want to eat (even when it gives us stomachaches). It's just...I don't get that vibe that they look forward to our visits. I dunno...they also won't come visit us and stay overnight, so maybe it's just them?

Anywho...all this to say that being with them can sometimes be difficult and draining. I find it hardest not knowing when the latest drama will erupt...and what the carnage will be. Most of the time? I'm completely oblivious to whatever it is that sets them off.

I got totally off track there, so anyway... this trip was lovely in that we were able to spend time off! together! in a fun place! Why, it was almost...a vacation (shh, don't tell). The wedding was in wine country, so we toured a few vineyards, and saw some exhibits, and enjoyed the scenery and the people watching. We stayed at a fancy resort (courtesy of my brother-in-law and now-sister-in-law) that had fancy things I've never seen before, outside of movies. You know, the fancy bathrobes? The slippers? The toiletries that you can't take home - but you can *buy* them if your little heart desires it? We reveled in the luxury of it all, extremely grateful to my brother in law that their generosity allowed us to stay there. The thank you note has been purchased and will be in the mail tomorrow, if I have anything to say about it.

The wedding itself made me think about our wedding. While I loved our wedding - it was very traditional, with a few non-traditional quirks - I would do it completely differently now. Completely. As in, I would strongly suggest that we elope. This was a small wedding - about as small as you can have without either a) limiting it to immediate family only, or b) eloping. It was also non (a?)religious.

I haven't talked about this much on this blog- and probably won't get into it in this post - but I have essentially lost any faith that I might have had up to this point. Big time. I have always had a hard time with overtly evangelical "crusaders", but up til now? I always had some form of faith. Now? Not so much. Is it too much time in science? Too much time thinking? Too much time without the touchstone of a regular church? Too...well, I don't know. I'll come back to that some other day. But I really enjoyed the fact that this was essentially a civil ceremony. There was no singing. There was no praying. There was no praising of some higher power for bringing these two together. (Of course, in their case? that would be the internets...) I really enjoyed that part of it - it was very freeing for me.

It made me a little sad that the wedding we had was - in hindsight - probably more for my mother than it was for me. But it made her happy - it made me happy, at the time - and that is all I can really ask for. Hindsight really is 20/20.

ANYway, I keep getting off track. Lovely wedding, lovely people. I had an introvert moment on Friday evening, when I excused myself from the late-night bar gathering in favor of a trashy magazine in bed. Talking to people...interacting with people...getting to KNOW people...can completely exhaust me. N and I are both introverts - but he does better in these kinds of situations. I do better when I am with a group of people I know well. But this was...tiring. So I took my time, and I was the better for it.

Re-entry into our regular lives has been rough. The dog was completely off his schedule. The house was fine - but there was the mail and the general travel detritus to go through. We finally got the house organized this past weekend, and I realized that next week? I leave for a week out East. So it won't last long.

Overall? I suppose the drama was less overt than I was expecting, although there were the typical weirdnesses along the way. I'm ever so grateful to have my husband - even though my in-laws come as a package deal with him. Really, though - we haven't traveled alone together since our honeymoon, and it was nice to know that my/our enjoyment of that week was not just a one-off. We really do travel well together. So it'd be nice if we could get a smidge more vacation time, so we could practice a little more.

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