Seriously, pancreas, what the hell?

This is a non-infertility (well, mostly) related post, primarily because this is driving me stark. raving. mad. and I have to write about it somewhere.

I mentioned before that I have type 2 diabetes, courtesy of some crappy DNA. This is...frustrating, at best, because my lifestyle and even my physical appearance do not fit most peoples' perceptions of individuals with type 2 diabetes. I could stand to lose 20 pounds - but I am not obese. My cholesterol levels are better than most people my age. I don't smoke. I eat more fruits and vegetables than nearly everyone else I know. I exercise seven. days. a. week. I am more active than nearly all of my friends. And still, still! My pancreas pulls this crap on me.

I never know what to expect - which, for me, is like a mild form of torture. I like to plan. I like to know how things are going to turn out. I like to visualize my day, and plan how it will unfold, and then *make it happen*. I can't DO that with my blood sugars. Case in point: Thursday evening we had veggie burgers, onion rings, and salad for dinner. I had no bun with my veggie burger, a small number of (baked!) onion rings, and a huge salad. For dessert? A skinny cow mini fudge bar. Saturday evening, we had friends over for dinner. I had: a hamburger (on a [whole wheat] bun! the horror!), corn on the cob, and a big spoonful of pasta salad. Oh, and strawberry pie for dessert. Friday morning's sugar and Sunday morning's were...1 point apart.

I'm even *more* frustrated now, because we finally decided to apply for life insurance for me. We're dumb, because we should have done this when we got married. But it's not exactly top of the list for most people - and it wasn't for us. I'll be 35 next week. When I did the health interview, I just knew that my quoted premium was going to go up. Ha.

According to them, my diabetes, asthma, and heart murmur are what caused my premiums to increase. Yeah. My well-controlled diabetes (at least my endocrinologist thinks so). My exercise-induced asthma, which requires that I take an inhaler before I run. And my "heart murmur", which was thoroughly worked up this year, over the course of three months and umpty-zillion tests, and was found to be a) completely benign, and b) not even audible, depending on who you asked.

So, my premiums? One for term, one for whole life? Went up 282% and 164%, respectively. I nearly threw up.

In comparison, the best info I could find for a person who smokes? Is that their premiums will go up 100%. I am mortified, and also kind of appalled.

The thing I hate most about this is how unhealthy it makes me feel. I know that I am a healthy person, that I make good choices. Hell, I wear sunscreen every day. I avoid the sun. I make my own bread just so I know what goes into it. I know I can't select what parts of my DNA will express and which will not (seriously, why couldn't I get the flat chest from my dad's side of the family??). But to be punished, every single month, for things that are outside my control, well, that makes me mad. And sad.

I suspect I would pay less if I were a sedentary, obese, smoker vs. an active, healthy person who happens to be diabetic.