Dear

Dear gray hairs,

I know I can't stop you from coming in; after all, I'm getting older by the day. But do you really have to be a completely different texture than the rest of my hair? And do you have to stick up and out at weird angles, so I look like I've stuck my finger in a light socket?

I'd appreciate it if you could rethink your position (ahem, literally).

Thx,
A

******
Dear general public,

I know the Midwest can be confusing, but really? The states are not interchangeable. There are actual differences between them. Shocking, I know.

It'd be nice if you could figure out that just because Ohio and Iowa both have four letters, three vowels, and a consonant, they're not the same state.

K?
Thx,
A