Sunday, April 24, 2011

A decision made, and a cautionary tale

I made an appointment with my primary doc back in...I think it was February, when I decided that enough was enough with the IUD. I finally got in to see her on Thursday morning. On the way there, I realized that I hadn't gotten a reminder phone call (cue panic), then thought that, hm, maybe I *chose* not to have them call me because I'm good about putting things on my calendar. Fortunately, I was right - they had me in the system, I wasn't going to have to wait two additional months, and phew.

In the waiting room, I saw a current doctoral student, who hosted the baby shower for a mutual friend (also a doctoral student) last Sunday (more on that later). She did not seem to see me, and I chose not to get her attention. This is one of the interesting things about living in a small university town, working at one of the colleges associated with the academic medical center, and choosing to get most of my medical care there. I tend to run in to people I know - or who know my husband - or who know my boss(es) - when I am there for medical appointments. So far, I've been able to make things work, and my only regret is that I cannot be friends with my providers, because I really like those that I have had. Well, except for the dermatology resident, but that's okay. I'd love to be friends with the PA I saw in reproductive endocrinology, before throwing in the towel. Her husband used to work with mine, which is the way things go in this town, and we had seen them at Lowe's when we first moved back to town. Kind of like how we ran into our current financial planner guy at the park when we were having lunch a few months after we moved back to town. Anyway, I digress.

I waited for about 25 minutes - long, but not unreasonable, got weighed (holding steady! soon it will be time to ramp it up again to lose an addition 8-10 pounds...) and blood pressured (also normal, as per usual) and then the doc came in pretty quickly. We determined that it was time to lose the IUD and find another method that would work better for me. And, as always, I was grateful that she did not say anything about an infertile woman choosing to be on long-term birth control.

She took it out right then and there (well, after I had gotten ready and on the table...) which was a HUGE relief. Sent in my prescription for my new long-cycle pills, and reupped a few of my regular ones for 3-month supplies, and off I went. Poof! Done! I feel better already - although, interestingly, I still have the aching / occasional piercing pain on my left side. I started the pills again this morning (Sunday start) so we'll see if that continues or gets better. I do wonder whether I have a cyst or possibly some endometriosis hanging out there. We shall see...

The cautionary tale came from one of my students this semester, who in addition to having a 2 year old, working full time, and going to school, has decided that THIS is the semester to have additional IVF cycles. This is her 4th. One child. I did the math, which = 2 failed cycles. Anyway, she developed complications during her stim phase, which included bilateral hydrosalpinx. Which was what they thought I had during my HSG, until they got in there and found normal tubes (which I have never understood, and probably never will. If I ever have a hysterectomy, I will ask them to do path analysis on my uterus and tubes because I want / need to know...). Her ova were retrieved on schedule, but she will need to have additional surgery this week to have a bilateral salpingectomy before they transfer the embryos. She will be fine - and hopefully will have a successful cycle - but it reminded me of the reasons why I got off the IVF train before it even pulled out of the station. Emotionally, I couldn't deal with the ramifications of unsuccessful cycles. Physically, I couldn't deal with the thought of unplanned complications. I'm a planner. I planned when I *thought* I would get pregnant. I plan my week as strictly as I possibly can. I don't do well with uncertainty - physical or emotional. So, I took it as a cautionary tale, and a reminder to me why I am staying on long-term birth control, even though I am 'infertile'.

The baby shower last Sunday was probably the best I have been to. No stupid games. No questions about when *I* would be pregnant. Just a bunch of nerdy women sharing their favorite children's books with the mom-to-be, and discussing them. Whew. I made it through - it was only about an hour and 45 minutes, and escaped to the grocery store, then made it home in one piece.

This semester is *finally* wrapping up (it's been nuts...) and we are planning a long-awaited vacation to LONDON at the end of May. I am so excited, I can hardly stand it. I'm not even going to take my laptop! iPad, yes, for emails and catching up on fun reading. But no laptop - no work - just fun and being tourists and being together. Perfect for our 5th anniversary. That's this Friday - we will share it not only with my parents (we were married on their 34th wedding anniversary), but also with William and Kate. Hilariously, my mother and I also have sapphires for our engagement rings. Not, however, the size of Kate's. It might be more fun if I were an inveterate royal-watcher, which I am not. But it will still be fun to share an anniversary with some famous people. :)